The Movie Critique
Kindergarten Cop

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
North By Northwest
Taxi Driver
Wild Things
Kindergarten Cop
The Godfather
The Shining
Gone with the wind
2001: A Space Odyssey
The Maltese Falcon

Stavan Young

Date: 30 August 2001
Summary: Scwarzenegger in the kindergarten?

Well,if not for anything else,this movie is interesting because practically for the first time Schwarzenegger plays a role different from what he used to do.In fact,he is a cop here too but more stress is put on the fact that he gets close to small children.

So,the movie is nothing special and to say the truth I can not find any reason why somebody would spend about 2 hours seeing a predictable story with a poor ending.And one more thing:I found Schwarzenegger's English too poor and irrittating to speak so much.

Rating: 3.5 / 10. (* out of ****).


John Ulmer (sk8boarder1088)

Date: 30 June 2001
Summary: A great action comedy filled with laughs throughout

This movie really is funny. It mixes my favorite actor with comedy. The plot is Detective John Kimble(Schwarzenegger) has had to go undercover as kindergarten teacher, to find\protect a kindergartener who's mother stole 3 million dollars from her ex-husband Cullen Crisp(Richard Tyson), a drug dealer. There is more to the plot you will find out about when you watch it but I don't want to spoil anything. This is not Arnold's best work. I'll have to credit that to either the Terminator movies, or Predator. But this movie is funny. It's probably in his top ten, or maybe five. The rest of the cast includes Penelope Anne Miller as Crisp's ex-wife, Linda Hint as Principal Schlowski, and Pamela Reed as Kimble's partner. I recommend this movie to anyone. 7 or 8 stars out of 10(I could write lots more about this movie but I have to go)


mattkratz (
Richardson, TX

Date: 27 February 2001
Summary: i love it

A change of pace for Mr. Arnold. True, it has plenty of shoot-em-up action, but it is a great comedy as well. Arnie gives a good performance of the cop-turned-kindergarten-teacher to find a drug dealer, and just sit back and relax. You will enjoy the film more that way. You'll love the class "lectures" and most of the film as well.

*** out of ****


Joey (
Omaha, Nebraska

Date: 19 February 2001
Summary: One of my favorite early 90's movies

Kindergarten Cop is one of the greatest movies produced during the early 90's, an era of cheesy innocence, and also unaware of its utter dorkiness. The transition from the 80's to the ultra-sad PC era we live in was not an easy one. This is evidenced by the dress of the people outside the junkie apartment where the party is at the beginning of the movie. Those Mexican guys with mullets and leather jackets. And the witness, Cindy. Nice cowboy boots. One of the greatest things about this film is Schwarzenegger's performance. He is extremely likeable, and is genuinely funny in numerous scenes. A lot of the things he says are even funnier because of his Austrian accent. I guess its funny for me because a lot of the lines are so cheesy, and I still laugh when I hear them. I have watched this movie over and over and can recite each and every line by heart. Memorable lines include: "Did your daddy teach you this game?" "On second thought, take the gun." "You're not so tough without your car, are ya?" "Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" "I'm the party poopah." "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble. And I love my car." "Yo man, I'm just gonna keep an eye on it for ya, alright?"

The list goes on and on. There is a slight darkness that comes into this film occasionally, but I don't mind it too much, considering that it is much less violent than Schwarzenegger's other movies. Overall, unless you were a kid when the movie came out, you may not appreciate it as much as I do.

If this movie were made today, it would be criticized for showing violence in a school, and how it is teaching kids to kill and all of that nonsense. The early 90's taught us not to be so self-aware and critical, just like the kids in the movie. That life should be care-free.


Jack Christal-Gattanella (Filmjack3)
New Jersey

Date: 26 December 2000
Summary: "I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!" Ridiculous yet it is A-nuld

Kindergarden Cop is as dumb as films get, but it gets good in my book by Arnold's change in action to comedy (first seen in Twins). Here, he plays a cop who is on the trail of a drug dealer, and the only way to go undercover is to become a teacher in little kids school, and then the laughs come as some classic Arnold clips (later played on O & A) come up like "Stop Whining" or "You lack discipline." Not Ivan Reitman (or Scharzenegger's) finest hours, but it does give them changes of pace. B+


Oakwood, Virginia USA

Date: 28 December 2000
Summary: Not your typical Schwarzenegger film, but funny and interesting enough to watch.

I remember ten years ago when I watched Kindergarten Cop at the theater I said right then you have a hit for many years to come. Boy was I right the film continues to get numerous airings mostly on the USA cable network. Sure it's not your typical Arnold genre, but with the humor and feel good story this film just had to warm your heart. Great story that has Arnold as a cop go undercover as a kindergarten teacher for the purpose of finding a wanted criminal, only to discover one of his students happens to be the son of the criminal. Again it's not a film of Arnold in action all the time, but more of a caring and humor mix that makes you want to watch this film and put it in memory.


Aardsy (
Brighton, Massachusetts

Date: 30 November 2000
Summary: It's all about tumors!

It's been years since I've seen "Kindergarten Cop" and I don't remember very much about it. It's just one of those movies that I've seen a bunch of times without really remember any of its details. As far as I'm concerned, the movie could be a remake of "Big Business" with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Lily Tomlin role--that's how little I remember of it.

But I will tell you this: "Kindergarten Cop" contains one of the greatest moments of cinematic comedy. It's goes a little something like this:

Kid: It's probably a tumor.

Arnold: It's not a tumor!

That's the only thing I remember about the movie, and I don't even know if I quoted those lines correctly. Did Arnold Schwarzenegger know that he was creating comedy gold when he said "tumor" in an exacerbated way? "It's not a tu-ma!" Tu-ma! Tu-ma tu-ma tu-ma! Hah.

"It's not a tumor" falls somewhere between "Here's looking at you, kid" and "Stop looking at me, swan!" as the greatest line ever said in a movie.

I wouldn't recommend renting "Kindergarten Cop." Instead, get together with a bunch of friends, pretend you're all Arnold Schwarzenegger, and spend the evening repeatedly saying "TU-MA! TU-MA! TU-MA!" to each other. It's good clean fun for whole family.


Chicago, Illinois

Date: 21 October 2000
Summary: Fun comedy-thriller

"Kindergarten Cop" is a fun comedy-thriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Kimble, a cop who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher so he can find the son of a killer he had busted. Kimble, along with his witty partner Phoebe O'Hara (wonderfully played by Pamela Reed), travel to where the boy and his mother are hiding out in Astoria, Oregon. Phoebe was originally supposed to be the one going undercover as the teacher since she's had teaching experience. But on the way she gets sick with food poisoning, and Kimble (who has no teaching experience at all) ends up taking over for her. At first he struggles with the rambunctious tykes as they get on his nerves. But soon the kids start to like him as he uses some of his own teaching lessons with a little bit of help from Phoebe. Along the way he falls in love with a fellow teacher who's son is in his class. The scenes with the kids are the best, with the tykes providing some of the funniest dialogue in the film. The performances are terrific. Schwarzenegger proves that even though he's usually an action star, he can do comedy as well. Reed is very funny as Phoebe (her illness scenes are a hoot). Penelope Ann Miller shines as Joyce, the teacher Kimble falls for. And Oscar-winning actress Linda Hunt (from "The Year of Living Dangerously") steals many of her scenes as the diminutive school principal. Cathy Moriarty ("Raging Bull"), Park Overall (TV's "Empty Nest"), and Jayne Brook (TV's "Chicago Hope") have delightful bit parts as mothers of some of Kimble's students. The only parts of "Kindergarten Cop" that I objected to were the violent moments early and late in the film. This movie would have been perfect for kids if it weren't for the violence. Nevertheless, "Kindergarten Cop" (directed by Ivan Reitman) is a fun movie with many terrific moments. If it had no violence, it would be one of the best comedies ever made. Still, it's a good movie.

*** (out of four)


United States

Date: 10 October 2000
Summary: Tedious Arnold Schwarzenegger Vehicle

Arnold Schwarzenegger goes undercover at an elementary school to find the child of a powerful drug-lord who he hopes to capture. He learns how rough being a teacher is by becoming the school's kindergarten instructor. This is one of those films that is just plain dumb. The screenplay feels like it was written by a five-year-old. The direction is equally unimpressive. Schwarzenegger does what he can with the material, but he gets no help from the rest of the cast. Avoid this one. 2 stars out of 5.


The Terminator
Lancashire, England

Date: 29 May 2000
Summary: Fun

Although this genre of film almost defeats the object of Arnie being an action hero, it is nevertheless a very enjoyable movie. Schwarzenegger's acting is far superior to his early films and the children add a real family side to the picture. A disappointment to budding Arnie fans but an enjoyable, happy experience for any half-decent viewer.


Waunakee, WI

Date: 5 November 1999
Summary: One of my favorites

I watched this movie again recently, and while reminded of recent school shootings, I'd still have to say it's one of our family's favorites. While some parts are a little dark to qualify this as a family film, I think it's handled well overall. The very ending still gets me misty-eyed.


Allentown, PA

Date: 29 August 1999
Summary: "They're Horrible.....!"

"Kindergarten Cop" is one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's best films to blend family-based values with raw action, though most adults won't really consider this a pure family flick because of the crime-oriented plot. The big Austrian plays a cop named John Kimble who has to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher to find the whereabouts of a certain kid's drug dealer father. At first, it's a hell on earth for Kimble as he deals with all the screaming, whining, and crying that kindergarteners make, but our hero ends up liking his second "job".

There are some issues where parents have to take note about this flick, like the scene where Kimble wallops a man in the stomach after he learns the man abuses his son. Would parents accept this as a good concept for their kids? And the final shootout in the locker room, where Kimble kills the greasy drug pusher. It sort of reminded me of the Columbine High School shootings in Colorado. But other than that, it's a warm, funny comedy that boost's Ah-nold's image of being a comedic actor as well as an action hero.


Mariano Andres Biasin
Buenos Aires, Argentina

Date: 19 February 1999
Summary: Maybe there is a hidden face of yourself that you really do not know.

This movie makes me believe that the perfection of a story depends on its simplicity. "Kindergarten Cop" is a very nice movie becouse it tells about a violent cop who is forced to become a kindergarten teacher, and how this charming work can show him a rare happiness.

Schwarzenegger's performance is outstanding. He was able to demostrate that behind that hard face and body, exists a kind man who -of course- can perform a noble and lovely guy.

As simple as it is good, "Kindergarten Cop" is more than a weekend movie. It could be considered as one of the most beautiful movies of all Schwarzenegger's career.


Gavan Duffy
Melbourne, Australia

Date: 24 January 1999
Summary: Kindergarten Cop fails divorced children

What can I say? It's a feel-good movie and it does deliver.

Arnie gets a run for his acting money from some of the kids, particularly "Emma".

The movie has a go at addressing the issue of how kids deal with their feelings regarding their divorced parents but fails to deliver. In a classroom scene "Kimble" basically implies his pain at being separated from his son and I feel this is inadequate. The kids in the film (and the kids, and parents, in the audience) deserve more.

Lots of kids don't understand why their parents are separated and the film could have done some of the explaining that real life parents might find so hard to do. It wasn't a docu-drama after all!


Barry Leger
Greenville, New Hampshire

Date: 8 November 1998
Summary: This is really, really great.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Pamela Reed, Richard Tyson, and Academy Award winner Linda Hunt star in this action-packed, funny movie. Arnold Schwarzenneger is John Kimble who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher while investigating a case. Soon he falls in love with a teacher who's the ex-wife of his enemy. Now he's trying to protect his enemy's son who's also one of his students. This is funny and Arnold Schwarzenegger is really awesome.